This is you from 2021
Posted on Thursday, June 24, 2021 at June 24, 2021 |
0 namStar(s)Hi
It has been a long time. A very long time. I know this is kinda weird to start writing on this blog again after so many years have passed. The last date that I visited this blog was in 2017 huh?
You know, I started to read the old posts that I have wrote back then. It was kinda cringey to be honest? Glad that I have grown from it though haha. But then, those writings still hold the mental state I have back then and I noticed that; I was in pain for a long time. A long long time.
So, I will write this post to comfort my past self that wrote those posts. I know this sounds absurd but that past self is still inside me. And I want to save my past self. Will writing this post helps? I don't know. I really don't, but my past self needs to know something from the future me.
Back then, we suffered a long time right? And we didn't even have trustworthy people that I could talk to (not because we didn't friends but we didn't have friends that we were able to talk about my pain). So here's the thing, about what happened after 2017. You got hurt by people around you too. That thing ended up happening again. And it will not stop. Humans, we always hurt others and get hurt by them. But, hating them back will not solve anything. It will hurt you more. It crippled your emotions and feelings that you always value and you suffered again and again. You became numb. You hated and scared of everything.
But then, like always, Auni, you learned and got stronger again. The you who always ended up hating people who have hurt you becomes someone who does not want to do that again and choose love even though some people will said that you are weak. Because you finally realized that hatred destroys people and you don't want those precious feelings of love that you always have in your heart weakened. You finally know the things that make you happy and you finally can forgive some people too.
I am proud of you. I really do. To choose love despite of having strong feelings of hatred is such a strong act that not everyone can do. I am happy we are able to do that.
Listen. You are happier now. Even though, there still people that you hate and hurt you but you are happier. Because you have Allah and you really love Him. And you know that as long as you live in this Dunya, you will get hurt to become a much more stronger version of yourself. Because that's the thing that you are always asking Him to grant to you.
You also gained more confidence again. You met many people that will listen to you and won't hurt you. You also like studying again. Your grades are always excellent. You want to become a good teacher. You want to help others. You are surrounded by some great friends that are really important.
But, you are still human too. Of course, despite of good things that you are having now, you still have things that are struggling. You are scared of getting hurt, you are scared of meeting new people, you are scared of your hatred and you are always afraid to trouble others. And it's okay. They are issues that really common; that happens to everyone else too.
But, you will be fine. You have gone through a much more terrible things before and from that you gained strength to overcome anything. You are you. The person who always keeps on making mistakes, hurt herself and others, scared of some things and indeed that what makes you, a normal human like others. You will be fine.
You are not useless at all. People always forget their abilities and what they can do until they ended up comparing themselves with others. Those people who hurt you with their words; actually they don't really know anything about yourself. So, it's okay. Just strive forward. Because only you know yourself. If some people hurt you with their words or actions again, you do not need to blame yourself and believe in them. That hurtful acts that they did say more about their personality and not about you. You deserve good things, Auni. You deserve happiness. You deserve to be acknowledged by others (not all because it's impossible to please others okay?). You are fine with the way you are. Don't let other people decide your worth because they also do not know themselves that well too.
It's okay to ask for help if you are struggling okay? It's not weak at all. You are not alone at all. You have Him; the one who controls the world. And as long as the love for Him exists in you; you are going to be fine. Your love for Him is not something that's easy for you to erase. So, I believe that you are going to be fine.
Lastly, I am sorry. I am really sorry for not valuing you more. I let others' words controlled you and made you hurt again. I'm sorry. But from that pain, you grew to become a much more stronger person. And I am very proud of you.
To my past, my pain, my sufferings, I love you. And you should always remember this love and keep on moving forward. You want to help others and become a much more stronger person right? Do that. Don't waver. You will be fine.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being strong. Without you, this future me won't exist.
Take care.
Anime Review : Rage of Bahamut - Virgin Soul
Posted on Wednesday, June 28, 2017 at June 28, 2017 |
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Assalamualaikum and hello!
So, today I'm going to review an anime that is called :
Rage of Bahamut - Virgin Soul
Well, actually this series is the second season of Rage of Bahamut - Genesis. And why I didn't make a review about the first season because I've been waiting to watch the second season after I saw Nina and Charioce dance on the youtube. So I binge watching the first season (thank god it just has 12 episodes) and overall I like it. But the second season got so much better and I love it!
This second season have surprised me a lot. For your knowledge, in the first season we have Favaro as the main character and then for the second season - it's Nina. And I'm not mad about it. I like Favaro, I like Nina. Btw, I never thought Nina can transform into a dragon, well I guess main characters always have hidden power or something.
( Btw, Amira is a freaking five years old)
The first season doesn't have romance in it but in the new season, I can feel the touch of romance in there and many ships are coming inside of my head. First, I want Nina to be with Azazel then after watching all the recent episodes, now it's Nina x Charioce.
Honestly, I don't know where this ship is going. But I'm hoping for a happy ending unlike Favaro and Amira. Pleasepleasepleaseplease
I don't even know if Charioce likes Nina or not. But the way I see it, Nina is the only person he can show his good and gentle side. I mean, we all know that Charioce is a king who kidnapped and slaved the demons but I think being a king it means that you need to discard those sentimental feelings. Furthermore, I can see that Charioce wants humans to stand by their own power. But, the way he tries to achieve his dreams is wrong.
I really do hope Charioce likes Nina too and that he will not use her power for bad purposes. Btw, can we talk how gentle Charioce to Nina when he danced with her? The way he was leading Nina was really sweet. If Charioce doesn't love Nina , idk what to say.
I think I'm going to stop for now. I really love the second season than the first one. There are so many improvements in the new season which I really like but I prefer the opening in the first season more. But, overall I think both of the seasons are really enjoyable! I'm going to look forward on watching the second season :)
Losing.
Posted on Tuesday, June 20, 2017 at June 20, 2017 |
0 namStar(s)
Hey, I know this is so random but have you ever lost someone who's really important in your life?
I think, yes, you did. Everyone did.
How did you feel after that? Sad? Regret? Anger?
I think that the feelings that you got after losing someone are different depend on each people.
But what I'm really sure,
It hurts so much.
When someone who's really close to us is gone, someone whom we really loves,
After their death,
We will break,
We will feel lonely.
You know,
Some people even lost the rays to live,
And then committed suicide because they can't stand the emptiness inside their heart.
When you think about it,
We, humans really hate to be all alone by ourselves right?
We are born weak,
Fragile,
And in the middle of living our life,
We need someone,
And after they left us,
We break,
So easily.
But, you see,
There are others who keeps living life no matter how many people have left them,
Even though it's frightening,
They need to move on and live,
For the people that have left them.
After all,
Every humans has different hearts
And strength.
But that makes us, us.
Humans.
Many people hate bad people right?
But you know,
Bad people too have lost someone who's really important in their life,
Their actions are wrong but that doesn't indicate that they can't love someone.
So be kind,
be grateful with what you have,
with the love you receive,
Never forget that you can be that "someone" who is the hope of others to live,
You're such an important,important being,
Be happy :)
" All of us,
Have lost someone,
Some lost a family member,
Some lost a friend,
Some lost a lover,
Whether the person was kind or evil,
There is no one...
Who didn't lose someone...
In their course of life."
- Ji Wook, "Suspicious Partner"
Silence.
Posted on Saturday, May 20, 2017 at May 20, 2017 |
0 namStar(s)
And yes, I have been away like really long. But, I need to focus on my school life ok? *why I sound like many peoples read my blog tho XD*
Alright folks, without further a due I will present you my new post but you have to be silent. Why? Cause we are going to talk something that at the some point, we all did experienced it.
But first, let's introduce our main subject for today and that is : 13 Reasons Why.
Now, maybe some of you might know what I'm going to talk about. Well, maybe. But I do think we need to talk about it. And just stop being silent , you know?
For someone who's new, 13 Reasons Why is actually a tv series about a girl, Hannah Baker who commits a suicide and she records 13 tapes explaining the reasons why she kills herself and Clay Jensen gets the tapes after her death. If you want to know more, you can watch it but some scenes are kinda violent? But I do think the staffs made a good job filming this series. I mean, this show exposes something that we always do and end up hurting others because of it.
And as you can see, the main topic in this series is bullying. When we talk about bullying, we will imagine someone picking on others, do some violence on them or many nasty things to others. But what about insults? or critiques ? Don't you think that somehow these are some types of bullying too? And you know what, we always find people who insults others. They exist among us and maybe in ourselves. Furthermore, they or we don't really know how much pain can be inflicted to the victims. As many people has said, words can harm.
So, how can words that we muttered can harm or hurt others? Alright, see if you have this person walking in the hall and you know he/she got a bad grade and then suddenly you pass by that person and call he/she's stupid, that person will get hurt you know because what others think of us mostly represent how we look all the time. You see, this is really wrong because that person will eventually think he/she is really stupid and this can inflict harm in many ways.
And about bullying. What can I say to the bullies, good job making yourself weak by bullying others who are weaker than you. You can think it's funny to kill plants just because they cannot fight back and weak? Well no, because they are still living things and if you know the basic science, plants produce oxygen that we breath in and need. See, if you take a step back you will find how important things that are so small but actually really valuable. And that goes the same with humans too, the real living things. They can move, speak, eat and laugh, cry and love. If you think that somehow some people needs to get bullied, you better think twice because humans can explode when so many things do not go well in their life and you think they have time to play with your little game? Oh no, they would not.
You see, bullying, insulting and judging are not things that are needed in our society. These actually are bad choices but so many people ended up making them. No everyone has a perfect life. They got problems too maybe their family is messed up, their parents got divorced and many terrible things happened to them and there you go, stupid jerks trying to make their life even more worse, these people can be in real pressure and pain too. When humans cannot take that pain anymore, they will do something unimaginable to erase the pain. That includes : killing and suicide.
So be careful on how you treat others because one mistake can ruin someone's life. And this is a choice. A bad choice just to hurt someone who has feelings.
Don't do that because you don't know what kind of day of life they are having. But I can say that the people or maybe the kids that you always see daily, laughing and smiling, don't even think their life is perfect than you because everyone has problems but they just don't show it. They pretend everything is fine because they want to become happy and because our society is so nice not to let others to talk the sensitive issue that has been running around us since a long time ago.
I've got to go. But please remember, be nice to others because a little kindness can help people cheer up and think of the positive vibes.
Bye.
How does Anxiety Feels Like?
Posted on Saturday, December 24, 2016 at December 24, 2016 |
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It's 2016 and there's still people who struggle with their mental illnesses and some other people just make it worse. They think that it was just an excuse. But, in fact, these illnesses are worse than physical illnesses.
So, how does Anxiety Feels Like?
Anxiety Disorder :
We all have anxiety but not anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorder is like feeling uneasiness for all day and it can get worse. It can lead panic attacks. You will often worrying about EVERYTHING. Normal people will think that you're exaggerating but you don't choose to be anxious about everything. It just happens. That's what anxiety disorder do for you.
You will worry about what others will think about you. You feel like you're an useless and dumb person for 24 hours every single day, and you feel like you can't deny the fact. If you make a mistake, you will feel really scared about what others think of you. You will feel blue. You have a thought that maybe it's good if you're gone. And that's serious.
Sometimes, you can have panic attacks. It's suffocating. You feel like drowning. You can't breath. You want to get out. After it ends, you just feel ashamed about yourself. You feel pathetic and embarrassed. People will make it worse for you. They think you're over-reacting. Or maybe- they simply doesn't ever care.
Of course, you try to talk about this to someone. But, no one can't understand your situation. They might say " Why did you just being anxious about small matters?". Yup, they can't understand your situation. Maybe they just don't even try too. It get worse when they try to involve others into your problems, it's just that you don't want many people to know about your illness. You simply want them to understand but they can't. Unfortunately, you start to distrust them.
When people tease you, you will feel deeply hurt. You might feel angry that you feel like you want to beat them up. When you heard people talking or laughing, you think that you're the main topic. You can't help feeling them. You really can't stop.
People might see you look always scared. Lack of confidence and unreliable. But they don't know that you've been trying to cope up with your fears deep in your heart every single second.
You will often get jumpy and startled easily. People may think you're a weirdo.
Your problem are your anxiety and the people around you. Mostly, people will make your disorder become worse because they can't understand how you're feeling. They simply judge you and you will hate everything about them.
Unlike physical illness, you can't find any medications to cure your illness easily. And this will be going on for years.
So, that's how anxiety feels like.
Will you look at anxiety disorder in the same view again?
Ishi No Mayu (Stone's Cocoon) Drama Review & Spoilers
Posted on Sunday, December 11, 2016 at December 11, 2016 |
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Hello & Assalamualaikum!
Today, I'm going to review a Japanese drama : Ishi No mayu (Stone's Cocoon)
[ Spoiler Alert]
Summary :
The body of a person who died an unnatural death is discovered encased in mortar like concrete in the basement of an abandoned building. Why was the person murdered this way? The next day, the investigation task force receives a phone call from the criminal who calls himself Tremi during a meeting to discuss the investigation of the case. Then, in a short time after her transfer to the First Investigative Division, Kisaragi Toko becomes the negotiator. Tremi mocks and provokes the police while offering hints regarding the murder. A second murder soon occurs just as Tremi had warned. The victim's head has been covered with concrete as they had expected. What is the criminal's motive and why is the criminal fixated with concrete? The criminal's surprising actual target soon emerges... -- Jdrama Weblog
Review :
As a person who just watched a drama from WOWOW, I have to say that I'm in love the drama.
What's really attract me is the main protagonist : Kisaragi Toko because she's the only female investigator in the case and her theories. Even though she looked weak but she have a high ability as an investigator. It's just that she doesn't believe in her capabilities. But, throughout the series, she managed to overcome that and that's what I really love about a character; the character's growth.
Being the only female investigator was not easy. Everyone in her team is really worried about her even though it looks like they just give her a bad attitude but really, they really cared about her.
I really like the duo between Kisaragi Toko and Takano Hideaki. He's really strict with her as he always told her to don't apologize too much and questioned her pride as a cop. But, of course, that's because he just worried about her. Moreover, after it was reveled that her late father ( a police officer too) had a connection in a case behind Toremi and his mother's abduction, everyone in the case started to blame Toko's father for it but Takano still defend her (how sweet is that?). By the way, by "connection" I mean that by the so-called her father's mistake that triggered the kidnapper's wrath. I mean, how can that be a "mistake"? If I be him, I would do the same. I became really confused about this as I have to rewind the scene again. Like seriously, a mistake?
I kinda ship Toko and Takano though.
Toko possessed an ability that allowed her to come up with an essential theories when she's in pressure. And that's really interesting because normally, it's always the opposite.
I really love what the drama have shown to the viewers. Eccentric cases, intelligent villain, brutal and gory murder. I really cannot forget the scene when Izumi was found. Did you see his feets and his face? Damn. I think that my jaw just dropped during this scene.
The most interesting thing for me must be the villain : Toremi or Yaginuma Masato.
Toremi's actor : Furukawa Yuki
I just love how he interacted with Toko and how much Toko attracted to him because of her late father. When it was reveled who was Toremi, I don't think that it was really a shocking twist for the show. I mean, maybe in Episode 2, I just have some thoughts like "the part-timer is the culprit, right?" "he's the one, right?". So, for me, it's not really the most shocking thing. The shocking thing for me probably the involvement of Toremi's father in the abduction of his mother and Toremi. Not to mention that, the scene when his mother was beaten up until she's dead really made me cry. No wonder why he decided to kill them all.
Toremi's backstory really captured my heart the most and have effected Toko too. But, of course because of that, rather than Toko feeling mad for Toremi, she decided to understand him and try to show to him that her father always cared for him until his last breath. And let's be honest here, during the scene where Toremi learnt the truth and Toko started to approach him, I really ship them. BUt, then, here comes the stunt gun! Duh. Really. The scene just broke my heart.
But it's kinda sad, you know. Because I felt that Toko was the only one who understood Toremi the most and they just couldn't be together. (of course there's no romance between them but it's me we are talking about). So, I broke my heart.
I think this is the first time for me to watch this kind of Detective drama. And it's worth it. I really love the plot, story, gore, settings, characters, villain and etc. The protagonist doesn't stood up really much but she have something that other officers doesn't have.
So, as to end this review I will rate this drama for 5/5.
If you are reading this, go ahead and try watching the drama.
Ok, got to go!
Taking Things for Granted.
Posted on Sunday, December 4, 2016 at December 04, 2016 |
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I know I've been writing a lot. Kah.
You know, before I really don't understand the meaning behind "taking things for granted".
And I doesn't think much about it.
But, today, I think I have understood its meaning.
Today, I watched a J-drama : JIN and found this:
" In our view, everything is taken for granted.We have resolved that the Earth will go on spinning.That any time, it will be possible for us to express the things we feel.That these ordinary but contented days will just go on and on. We've forgotten the darkness of the night.But, what if there was a day, When we suddenly lost all that?The bird-like freedom we have.Our satisfied life.If somehow this bright, night sky was lost to us?If we were thrown into nothing but, A pitch black night, alone...I wonder if you...would be able to find a light there?I wonder if you would be able to grasp the light that was there?Or instead, would you want to bring a light to that world without light?By your own hand. "
- Tachibana Saki
I have to say that this is beautiful.
And the result was, I did realized something.
After all this time, I have been taking things for granted. So many things.
And I just let it passes, all the time.
Being ignorant, selfish. Again and again.
Saying that " I want that" , " I don't want this".
The fact that I'm being ungrateful and keep forgetting the things I owned,
I have been "taking things for granted".
Or maybe,
We all did.
After all, humans tend to forget the things we should be grateful for so easily.
We indeed,
have been taking things for granted after all.
The air that we breath,
To live,
We just take it as a normal thing,
While there are people out there,
Who have been relying on life supports,
To live.
The warmth that we got from,
the clothes we wore.
We just take it as a normal thing,
And begging for our parents to have more and more,
frilly and nice clothes,
While there are children,
Who catches cold,
Because of their worn out clothes.
The legs that we use,
To walk,
To live,
We just use them to search our meaningless reason in life,
While there are people,
Who have been hoping to walk again,
And achieve their dreams.
The love that we received,
The warmth of our parents,
The scoldings of our father,
The kisses on our cheek from our mother,
We just take it as nothing,
While there are people who would,
exchange their lives for the love of their parents.
And you know what,
We have been taking these things for granted.
And after we lost them, we started to miss them.
Appreciation, gratefulness,
We started to experience those when we lost what we have been taking those things without having any single "thank you".
How sad.
I have been doing that for every single second in my life,
That "taking things for granted",
And I realized that,
I might have an empty life.
Appreciation,
I forgot that,
And thinking things will be same forever and ever.
How naive.
I think I will stop doing that,
If this continues,
I will have so many regrets in my life.
The things I love,
The things that hurt me,
I want to appreciate them.
Instead of doing something like "taking things for granted", I would rather do something like " taking things for better".
It sounds so fulfilling right?
Ok, let's stop here. Thank you for reading!
Bye!
This is you from 2021
Posted on Thursday, June 24, 2021 at June 24, 2021 |
0 namStar(s)Hi
It has been a long time. A very long time. I know this is kinda weird to start writing on this blog again after so many years have passed. The last date that I visited this blog was in 2017 huh?
You know, I started to read the old posts that I have wrote back then. It was kinda cringey to be honest? Glad that I have grown from it though haha. But then, those writings still hold the mental state I have back then and I noticed that; I was in pain for a long time. A long long time.
So, I will write this post to comfort my past self that wrote those posts. I know this sounds absurd but that past self is still inside me. And I want to save my past self. Will writing this post helps? I don't know. I really don't, but my past self needs to know something from the future me.
Back then, we suffered a long time right? And we didn't even have trustworthy people that I could talk to (not because we didn't friends but we didn't have friends that we were able to talk about my pain). So here's the thing, about what happened after 2017. You got hurt by people around you too. That thing ended up happening again. And it will not stop. Humans, we always hurt others and get hurt by them. But, hating them back will not solve anything. It will hurt you more. It crippled your emotions and feelings that you always value and you suffered again and again. You became numb. You hated and scared of everything.
But then, like always, Auni, you learned and got stronger again. The you who always ended up hating people who have hurt you becomes someone who does not want to do that again and choose love even though some people will said that you are weak. Because you finally realized that hatred destroys people and you don't want those precious feelings of love that you always have in your heart weakened. You finally know the things that make you happy and you finally can forgive some people too.
I am proud of you. I really do. To choose love despite of having strong feelings of hatred is such a strong act that not everyone can do. I am happy we are able to do that.
Listen. You are happier now. Even though, there still people that you hate and hurt you but you are happier. Because you have Allah and you really love Him. And you know that as long as you live in this Dunya, you will get hurt to become a much more stronger version of yourself. Because that's the thing that you are always asking Him to grant to you.
You also gained more confidence again. You met many people that will listen to you and won't hurt you. You also like studying again. Your grades are always excellent. You want to become a good teacher. You want to help others. You are surrounded by some great friends that are really important.
But, you are still human too. Of course, despite of good things that you are having now, you still have things that are struggling. You are scared of getting hurt, you are scared of meeting new people, you are scared of your hatred and you are always afraid to trouble others. And it's okay. They are issues that really common; that happens to everyone else too.
But, you will be fine. You have gone through a much more terrible things before and from that you gained strength to overcome anything. You are you. The person who always keeps on making mistakes, hurt herself and others, scared of some things and indeed that what makes you, a normal human like others. You will be fine.
You are not useless at all. People always forget their abilities and what they can do until they ended up comparing themselves with others. Those people who hurt you with their words; actually they don't really know anything about yourself. So, it's okay. Just strive forward. Because only you know yourself. If some people hurt you with their words or actions again, you do not need to blame yourself and believe in them. That hurtful acts that they did say more about their personality and not about you. You deserve good things, Auni. You deserve happiness. You deserve to be acknowledged by others (not all because it's impossible to please others okay?). You are fine with the way you are. Don't let other people decide your worth because they also do not know themselves that well too.
It's okay to ask for help if you are struggling okay? It's not weak at all. You are not alone at all. You have Him; the one who controls the world. And as long as the love for Him exists in you; you are going to be fine. Your love for Him is not something that's easy for you to erase. So, I believe that you are going to be fine.
Lastly, I am sorry. I am really sorry for not valuing you more. I let others' words controlled you and made you hurt again. I'm sorry. But from that pain, you grew to become a much more stronger person. And I am very proud of you.
To my past, my pain, my sufferings, I love you. And you should always remember this love and keep on moving forward. You want to help others and become a much more stronger person right? Do that. Don't waver. You will be fine.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being strong. Without you, this future me won't exist.
Take care.
Anime Review : Rage of Bahamut - Virgin Soul
Posted on Wednesday, June 28, 2017 at June 28, 2017 |
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Assalamualaikum and hello!
So, today I'm going to review an anime that is called :
Rage of Bahamut - Virgin Soul
Well, actually this series is the second season of Rage of Bahamut - Genesis. And why I didn't make a review about the first season because I've been waiting to watch the second season after I saw Nina and Charioce dance on the youtube. So I binge watching the first season (thank god it just has 12 episodes) and overall I like it. But the second season got so much better and I love it!
This second season have surprised me a lot. For your knowledge, in the first season we have Favaro as the main character and then for the second season - it's Nina. And I'm not mad about it. I like Favaro, I like Nina. Btw, I never thought Nina can transform into a dragon, well I guess main characters always have hidden power or something.
( Btw, Amira is a freaking five years old)
The first season doesn't have romance in it but in the new season, I can feel the touch of romance in there and many ships are coming inside of my head. First, I want Nina to be with Azazel then after watching all the recent episodes, now it's Nina x Charioce.
Honestly, I don't know where this ship is going. But I'm hoping for a happy ending unlike Favaro and Amira. Pleasepleasepleaseplease
I don't even know if Charioce likes Nina or not. But the way I see it, Nina is the only person he can show his good and gentle side. I mean, we all know that Charioce is a king who kidnapped and slaved the demons but I think being a king it means that you need to discard those sentimental feelings. Furthermore, I can see that Charioce wants humans to stand by their own power. But, the way he tries to achieve his dreams is wrong.
I really do hope Charioce likes Nina too and that he will not use her power for bad purposes. Btw, can we talk how gentle Charioce to Nina when he danced with her? The way he was leading Nina was really sweet. If Charioce doesn't love Nina , idk what to say.
I think I'm going to stop for now. I really love the second season than the first one. There are so many improvements in the new season which I really like but I prefer the opening in the first season more. But, overall I think both of the seasons are really enjoyable! I'm going to look forward on watching the second season :)
Losing.
Posted on Tuesday, June 20, 2017 at June 20, 2017 |
0 namStar(s)
Hey, I know this is so random but have you ever lost someone who's really important in your life?
I think, yes, you did. Everyone did.
How did you feel after that? Sad? Regret? Anger?
I think that the feelings that you got after losing someone are different depend on each people.
But what I'm really sure,
It hurts so much.
When someone who's really close to us is gone, someone whom we really loves,
After their death,
We will break,
We will feel lonely.
You know,
Some people even lost the rays to live,
And then committed suicide because they can't stand the emptiness inside their heart.
When you think about it,
We, humans really hate to be all alone by ourselves right?
We are born weak,
Fragile,
And in the middle of living our life,
We need someone,
And after they left us,
We break,
So easily.
But, you see,
There are others who keeps living life no matter how many people have left them,
Even though it's frightening,
They need to move on and live,
For the people that have left them.
After all,
Every humans has different hearts
And strength.
But that makes us, us.
Humans.
Many people hate bad people right?
But you know,
Bad people too have lost someone who's really important in their life,
Their actions are wrong but that doesn't indicate that they can't love someone.
So be kind,
be grateful with what you have,
with the love you receive,
Never forget that you can be that "someone" who is the hope of others to live,
You're such an important,important being,
Be happy :)
" All of us,
Have lost someone,
Some lost a family member,
Some lost a friend,
Some lost a lover,
Whether the person was kind or evil,
There is no one...
Who didn't lose someone...
In their course of life."
- Ji Wook, "Suspicious Partner"
Silence.
Posted on Saturday, May 20, 2017 at May 20, 2017 |
0 namStar(s)
And yes, I have been away like really long. But, I need to focus on my school life ok? *why I sound like many peoples read my blog tho XD*
Alright folks, without further a due I will present you my new post but you have to be silent. Why? Cause we are going to talk something that at the some point, we all did experienced it.
But first, let's introduce our main subject for today and that is : 13 Reasons Why.
Now, maybe some of you might know what I'm going to talk about. Well, maybe. But I do think we need to talk about it. And just stop being silent , you know?
For someone who's new, 13 Reasons Why is actually a tv series about a girl, Hannah Baker who commits a suicide and she records 13 tapes explaining the reasons why she kills herself and Clay Jensen gets the tapes after her death. If you want to know more, you can watch it but some scenes are kinda violent? But I do think the staffs made a good job filming this series. I mean, this show exposes something that we always do and end up hurting others because of it.
And as you can see, the main topic in this series is bullying. When we talk about bullying, we will imagine someone picking on others, do some violence on them or many nasty things to others. But what about insults? or critiques ? Don't you think that somehow these are some types of bullying too? And you know what, we always find people who insults others. They exist among us and maybe in ourselves. Furthermore, they or we don't really know how much pain can be inflicted to the victims. As many people has said, words can harm.
So, how can words that we muttered can harm or hurt others? Alright, see if you have this person walking in the hall and you know he/she got a bad grade and then suddenly you pass by that person and call he/she's stupid, that person will get hurt you know because what others think of us mostly represent how we look all the time. You see, this is really wrong because that person will eventually think he/she is really stupid and this can inflict harm in many ways.
And about bullying. What can I say to the bullies, good job making yourself weak by bullying others who are weaker than you. You can think it's funny to kill plants just because they cannot fight back and weak? Well no, because they are still living things and if you know the basic science, plants produce oxygen that we breath in and need. See, if you take a step back you will find how important things that are so small but actually really valuable. And that goes the same with humans too, the real living things. They can move, speak, eat and laugh, cry and love. If you think that somehow some people needs to get bullied, you better think twice because humans can explode when so many things do not go well in their life and you think they have time to play with your little game? Oh no, they would not.
You see, bullying, insulting and judging are not things that are needed in our society. These actually are bad choices but so many people ended up making them. No everyone has a perfect life. They got problems too maybe their family is messed up, their parents got divorced and many terrible things happened to them and there you go, stupid jerks trying to make their life even more worse, these people can be in real pressure and pain too. When humans cannot take that pain anymore, they will do something unimaginable to erase the pain. That includes : killing and suicide.
So be careful on how you treat others because one mistake can ruin someone's life. And this is a choice. A bad choice just to hurt someone who has feelings.
Don't do that because you don't know what kind of day of life they are having. But I can say that the people or maybe the kids that you always see daily, laughing and smiling, don't even think their life is perfect than you because everyone has problems but they just don't show it. They pretend everything is fine because they want to become happy and because our society is so nice not to let others to talk the sensitive issue that has been running around us since a long time ago.
I've got to go. But please remember, be nice to others because a little kindness can help people cheer up and think of the positive vibes.
Bye.
How does Anxiety Feels Like?
Posted on Saturday, December 24, 2016 at December 24, 2016 |
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It's 2016 and there's still people who struggle with their mental illnesses and some other people just make it worse. They think that it was just an excuse. But, in fact, these illnesses are worse than physical illnesses.
So, how does Anxiety Feels Like?
Anxiety Disorder :
We all have anxiety but not anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorder is like feeling uneasiness for all day and it can get worse. It can lead panic attacks. You will often worrying about EVERYTHING. Normal people will think that you're exaggerating but you don't choose to be anxious about everything. It just happens. That's what anxiety disorder do for you.
You will worry about what others will think about you. You feel like you're an useless and dumb person for 24 hours every single day, and you feel like you can't deny the fact. If you make a mistake, you will feel really scared about what others think of you. You will feel blue. You have a thought that maybe it's good if you're gone. And that's serious.
Sometimes, you can have panic attacks. It's suffocating. You feel like drowning. You can't breath. You want to get out. After it ends, you just feel ashamed about yourself. You feel pathetic and embarrassed. People will make it worse for you. They think you're over-reacting. Or maybe- they simply doesn't ever care.
Of course, you try to talk about this to someone. But, no one can't understand your situation. They might say " Why did you just being anxious about small matters?". Yup, they can't understand your situation. Maybe they just don't even try too. It get worse when they try to involve others into your problems, it's just that you don't want many people to know about your illness. You simply want them to understand but they can't. Unfortunately, you start to distrust them.
When people tease you, you will feel deeply hurt. You might feel angry that you feel like you want to beat them up. When you heard people talking or laughing, you think that you're the main topic. You can't help feeling them. You really can't stop.
People might see you look always scared. Lack of confidence and unreliable. But they don't know that you've been trying to cope up with your fears deep in your heart every single second.
You will often get jumpy and startled easily. People may think you're a weirdo.
Your problem are your anxiety and the people around you. Mostly, people will make your disorder become worse because they can't understand how you're feeling. They simply judge you and you will hate everything about them.
Unlike physical illness, you can't find any medications to cure your illness easily. And this will be going on for years.
So, that's how anxiety feels like.
Will you look at anxiety disorder in the same view again?
Ishi No Mayu (Stone's Cocoon) Drama Review & Spoilers
Posted on Sunday, December 11, 2016 at December 11, 2016 |
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Hello & Assalamualaikum!
Today, I'm going to review a Japanese drama : Ishi No mayu (Stone's Cocoon)
[ Spoiler Alert]
Summary :
The body of a person who died an unnatural death is discovered encased in mortar like concrete in the basement of an abandoned building. Why was the person murdered this way? The next day, the investigation task force receives a phone call from the criminal who calls himself Tremi during a meeting to discuss the investigation of the case. Then, in a short time after her transfer to the First Investigative Division, Kisaragi Toko becomes the negotiator. Tremi mocks and provokes the police while offering hints regarding the murder. A second murder soon occurs just as Tremi had warned. The victim's head has been covered with concrete as they had expected. What is the criminal's motive and why is the criminal fixated with concrete? The criminal's surprising actual target soon emerges... -- Jdrama Weblog
Review :
As a person who just watched a drama from WOWOW, I have to say that I'm in love the drama.
What's really attract me is the main protagonist : Kisaragi Toko because she's the only female investigator in the case and her theories. Even though she looked weak but she have a high ability as an investigator. It's just that she doesn't believe in her capabilities. But, throughout the series, she managed to overcome that and that's what I really love about a character; the character's growth.
Being the only female investigator was not easy. Everyone in her team is really worried about her even though it looks like they just give her a bad attitude but really, they really cared about her.
I really like the duo between Kisaragi Toko and Takano Hideaki. He's really strict with her as he always told her to don't apologize too much and questioned her pride as a cop. But, of course, that's because he just worried about her. Moreover, after it was reveled that her late father ( a police officer too) had a connection in a case behind Toremi and his mother's abduction, everyone in the case started to blame Toko's father for it but Takano still defend her (how sweet is that?). By the way, by "connection" I mean that by the so-called her father's mistake that triggered the kidnapper's wrath. I mean, how can that be a "mistake"? If I be him, I would do the same. I became really confused about this as I have to rewind the scene again. Like seriously, a mistake?
I kinda ship Toko and Takano though.
Toko possessed an ability that allowed her to come up with an essential theories when she's in pressure. And that's really interesting because normally, it's always the opposite.
I really love what the drama have shown to the viewers. Eccentric cases, intelligent villain, brutal and gory murder. I really cannot forget the scene when Izumi was found. Did you see his feets and his face? Damn. I think that my jaw just dropped during this scene.
The most interesting thing for me must be the villain : Toremi or Yaginuma Masato.
Toremi's actor : Furukawa Yuki
I just love how he interacted with Toko and how much Toko attracted to him because of her late father. When it was reveled who was Toremi, I don't think that it was really a shocking twist for the show. I mean, maybe in Episode 2, I just have some thoughts like "the part-timer is the culprit, right?" "he's the one, right?". So, for me, it's not really the most shocking thing. The shocking thing for me probably the involvement of Toremi's father in the abduction of his mother and Toremi. Not to mention that, the scene when his mother was beaten up until she's dead really made me cry. No wonder why he decided to kill them all.
Toremi's backstory really captured my heart the most and have effected Toko too. But, of course because of that, rather than Toko feeling mad for Toremi, she decided to understand him and try to show to him that her father always cared for him until his last breath. And let's be honest here, during the scene where Toremi learnt the truth and Toko started to approach him, I really ship them. BUt, then, here comes the stunt gun! Duh. Really. The scene just broke my heart.
But it's kinda sad, you know. Because I felt that Toko was the only one who understood Toremi the most and they just couldn't be together. (of course there's no romance between them but it's me we are talking about). So, I broke my heart.
I think this is the first time for me to watch this kind of Detective drama. And it's worth it. I really love the plot, story, gore, settings, characters, villain and etc. The protagonist doesn't stood up really much but she have something that other officers doesn't have.
So, as to end this review I will rate this drama for 5/5.
If you are reading this, go ahead and try watching the drama.
Ok, got to go!
Taking Things for Granted.
Posted on Sunday, December 4, 2016 at December 04, 2016 |
0 namStar(s)
I know I've been writing a lot. Kah.
You know, before I really don't understand the meaning behind "taking things for granted".
And I doesn't think much about it.
But, today, I think I have understood its meaning.
Today, I watched a J-drama : JIN and found this:
" In our view, everything is taken for granted.We have resolved that the Earth will go on spinning.That any time, it will be possible for us to express the things we feel.That these ordinary but contented days will just go on and on. We've forgotten the darkness of the night.But, what if there was a day, When we suddenly lost all that?The bird-like freedom we have.Our satisfied life.If somehow this bright, night sky was lost to us?If we were thrown into nothing but, A pitch black night, alone...I wonder if you...would be able to find a light there?I wonder if you would be able to grasp the light that was there?Or instead, would you want to bring a light to that world without light?By your own hand. "
- Tachibana Saki
I have to say that this is beautiful.
And the result was, I did realized something.
After all this time, I have been taking things for granted. So many things.
And I just let it passes, all the time.
Being ignorant, selfish. Again and again.
Saying that " I want that" , " I don't want this".
The fact that I'm being ungrateful and keep forgetting the things I owned,
I have been "taking things for granted".
Or maybe,
We all did.
After all, humans tend to forget the things we should be grateful for so easily.
We indeed,
have been taking things for granted after all.
The air that we breath,
To live,
We just take it as a normal thing,
While there are people out there,
Who have been relying on life supports,
To live.
The warmth that we got from,
the clothes we wore.
We just take it as a normal thing,
And begging for our parents to have more and more,
frilly and nice clothes,
While there are children,
Who catches cold,
Because of their worn out clothes.
The legs that we use,
To walk,
To live,
We just use them to search our meaningless reason in life,
While there are people,
Who have been hoping to walk again,
And achieve their dreams.
The love that we received,
The warmth of our parents,
The scoldings of our father,
The kisses on our cheek from our mother,
We just take it as nothing,
While there are people who would,
exchange their lives for the love of their parents.
And you know what,
We have been taking these things for granted.
And after we lost them, we started to miss them.
Appreciation, gratefulness,
We started to experience those when we lost what we have been taking those things without having any single "thank you".
How sad.
I have been doing that for every single second in my life,
That "taking things for granted",
And I realized that,
I might have an empty life.
Appreciation,
I forgot that,
And thinking things will be same forever and ever.
How naive.
I think I will stop doing that,
If this continues,
I will have so many regrets in my life.
The things I love,
The things that hurt me,
I want to appreciate them.
Instead of doing something like "taking things for granted", I would rather do something like " taking things for better".
It sounds so fulfilling right?
Ok, let's stop here. Thank you for reading!
Bye!
Meet The NamStar .
Thanks a Lot.
